An Axiom Against Feminism

October 27, 2014

By Roxxi Wallace

I am against feminism because I want a boyfriend. I am against feminism because I wear eyeliner and care about how I am perceived by others, particularly men. I am against feminism because I have an eating disorder, and I don’t have the same respect for myself that a real feminist would have. I am against feminism because I play Mileena instead of Sub-Zero and because I don’t like Bikini Kill as much as I like The Pussycat Dolls.

I am against feminism because I hope he notices me and because if he does, I’m not afraid to let him ask me out for dinner. I am against feminism because when the cheque comes, he’s paying for it. I am against feminism because I could fuck on the first date and enjoy it. I am against feminism because I am submissive. I am against feminism because I love to be dominated by men.

I am against feminism unless I de-activate my Fetlife account and remove any profile pictures with a bit of cleavage. I am against feminism because I listened to Blurred Lines and didn’t post an essay on how offensive it was. I am against feminism because I’d rather he fuck my brains out than make love to me. I am against feminism because I don’t use the word “misogynistic” enough and feminism has no place in my future because I liked 50 Shades of Grey.

But what does this mean?

It means that you got angry because I didn’t Reblog your “Top Ten Reasons to Hate Men” post on Tumblr; that I didn’t like your status about women being raped in Syria. It means that if I am raped I am asking for it, despite your claims that “No matter what we wear, NO means NO!” It means that my mini-skirt makes me a slut and your cargo pants make you a martyr.

It means that you boycott tampons and grow your armpit hair to make a statement; and not because it’s what you want to do. It means you’re insulting those who laugh at you out of retaliation, not societies conformity issues. It means that pro-creative sex is an act of misogyny and taking the pill is man’s way of disrespecting you. It means your daddy issues define you and your mommy complex controls you.

I am not a part of the elite society of women who are truly in control of themselves; women who know everything about men and everything about appropriate behaviour for women. Though I cannot be one of them, I will forever be grateful that their views have been made so concrete. I’m far more comfortable being judged, insulted, and harassed by women than men.

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